Edward Google

EDWARD GOOGLE

Enter twilightgoogle.com (or clicky the link) for your own personal Edward search page. Seeing that sexy brood while surfing the net is.... underwear melting!
(thanks, Caprice!)

All hail the Twilight naysayer

A fellow Examiner recently wrote this:

And if you're an adult and you're into this nonsense, we're looking at a bigger problem. Take, for instance, this site. If you're still here, lemme tell you what that link does. It transports you to a genuinely creepy place called "Twilight Moms." A place for moms who love "Twilight" just as much as their teenage daughters. One can't help but imagine this is some sort of desperate attempt at bonding by a group of middle-aged women who have lost the ability to communicate with the surly, moody, ever-fickle being they call a "teenage daughter." And if it's not, then the alternative is even more depressing: you're an adult who reads a series of vampire romance books marketed to teenage girls, written at their 9th grade reading level. Wow. For the woman who finds all those bodice-ripping romance novels too "Porn-y", there's always "Twilight".

Before you get too heated, read my rebuttal HERE. All in good fun!!

Getcher New Moon candies at Blockbuster

Found at Bella and Edward- New Moon candy at Blockbuster!

Kim Kardashian's Twilight inspired look

Kim teamed up with her friend and makeup artist Troy Jensen to create a vampire-like look. “This look was inspired by Prada’s fall 2009 runway show and it is so unlike anything I’ve ever done!” writes Kim. “Pretty creepy, right? I call this my Twilight look!”
People has the whole scoop on how to achieve this look.. creepy...

I may be completely out of it... but who the heck is Kim Kardashian, anyhow?!

Justin Timberlake: God loves Rob more than me

Thanks, RPattzNews!!

The Do Me Meter... a sicknast comparison of HP and Twilight

Smut-meister Ted Casablanca had the cahones to compare the sex appeal of Daniel Radcliffe and the Harry Potter kids with sexy Robert Pattinson and the Twilight gang using the term "Do Me Meter"... really?!

Here's a snippet; catch the whole conversation here!

From Ted:

Sure, the H.P. kids are comely in that wow-look-how-much-they've-matured-since-the-first-movie kind of way; Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe have come into their own and look fresh enough. But where's the smoldering, steamy friction that should be exuding off their bods? Where are the piercing eyes, the sexy smiles and the promiscuous expressions that our Twilight brood has in friggin' spades? Nowhere, that's where.

Ted, would you like the list of why this topic is sicknast in alphabetical order, or on the scale of ewww?

• A. We’ve grown up with the Harry Potter kids since those round spectacles looked like coke bottle glasses on the young chap with the classic boyish bowl-headed hairdo. To think of Harry as a sex symbol now is, frankly, creepy.
• D. Anyone who has watched the portfolio of Robert Pattinson’s previous films will find that he’s played the gangly, awkward teen in The Bad Mother’s Handbook, but his repertoire also includes a more mature character. From the war veteran hungering for love in The Haunted Airman to the sexually tormented Salvador Dali in Little Ashes, Pattinson has paid his dues playing adult-themed roles beyond Cedric Diggory, thus spiking his image on the “do me meter.”
• F. Taylor Lautner: 30 pounds of sheer muscle gained within the past 6 months. Enough said.

Manip above thanks to July 2690. Taylor's abs thanks to Taylor.

Hushercise!

Based on the song "Irresistable," an ode to Jacob Black, Oh Hush! fans present Hushercise!

Black sex suspender pants

What is it about those black suspender pants? JAG at Random Acts of Rob has an *extremely normal* obsession with the pants (heck, she even made a video!):

Robert Pattinson Just the way I like him
by robert-pattinsondotca

Suzanne even wrote a poem about them... yum.

Black Suspender Pants
By Suzanne Padgett

The Pied Piper of Sexy
Is walking down the street
Three bodyguards protect him
Wild fans he can't meet

Those black suspender pants
He has me in a trance
He has me weak in the knees
He makes me wanna dance

When I see a black hoodie
I want it to be him
He must want to hide though
Till the sky begins to dim

A Michaelangelo statue
His face without a flaw
I watched from a distance
In disbelief at what I saw

Those Black suspender pants
Suspenders hanging at his hips
He mouthed "Hello" to me
With those perfect sexy lips

I just want to push you back into that Limo and grab on

Roptical Illusion

You know this optical illusion picture- old woman or young girl?

That's what I think of when I see this pic:



Hawt British boy in baseball cap or deranged tennis player in visor with freaky hair?

Anyone else see it?

Love the haters!

So since the posting of the Vibrating Pocket Edward story, I STILL get hits from hate boards, which is where I found this little ahem... gem. I won't post the sites where my hater hits come from because I don't want to encourage reverse backlash, plus they don't deserve the credit.

Sad are all the comments from people who apparently have nothing better to do than to sit around and hate. Good thing I have thick skin; I think it's pretty ironic that those who criticize us for having sad Twilight lives actually have even less- no life. 113 comments and counting....

Be Safe

While dh was inside playing video games with the kids for Father's Day (yep- he ROCKS. I love him so much.) I was out cleaning up the yes, ma'am van getting it all sparkly and ready for this:





That's right. I went there. Threw up Twilight all over my van for the world to see.

Happy Father's Day!

Kellan Lutz has shoulders too broad for airline aisles

Kellan Lutz tells Celebuzz that his extensive travel schedule is beginning to take a toll:

"It’s really frustrating for me because I’ve just been on way too many airplanes and I try to do those workout things on the airplane and everyone kind of got annoyed because maybe I was trying to workout and they’re like, 'Argghh,'" Lutz reveals.

"They have those pamphlets like so you do dips and then like lunges in the aisle," notes Lutz. "I tried to do push-ups but the aisle wasn’t big enough."

My idea of working out on the plane is a Xanex and a couple of drinks...
Thanks to TwiCrack for the tip!

What do you think is in Robert's murse?

OME-this is a riot- from Why Not? Twilight, RPattz and Me brings you her thoughts as to what is in Rob's murse:


Among her guesses:

1. Copy of the "Feminine Mystique" (he is looking to really "get women", not just GET women, ifyouknowwhatiamsayinandithinkyoudo)

2. Fresh underpants
3. Framed pic of his dog Patty
3. Love poem from TomStu called Prose: Bros before Ho's
4. Glitter pens

5. MadLibs (it's his little secret passion...he giggles at them alone in his hotel room and emails the funny ones to TomStu and Sam!)

Go to her site to read the rest!

A day in the life of a Twi-Mom Blogger

Raise your hand if this is you! The Robsten girls have no qualms about spilling a day in their life... I can relate:

Both of us are on Twi-diets so we can look great at the upcoming Comic Con…one of us is down to size 6 jeans while one of us has uhhhh….a way to go. The size 6 is diligently dieting, exercising, and has nursing on her side and the other was feeling guilty after a nasty margarita hang over from the weekend, so decided to attempt the treadmill this morning.

Now I wish this was fiction but it’s just plain not…I attempted to look for my workout shoes for forty-five minutes and could only find one, so I finally conceded to working out in flip-flops (highly not recommended, but I did work up a sweat)…

I just found the dang other work out shoe in the oven when I was attempting to power cook for the week so my husband doesn’t notice that I get on the computer to blog as soon as he walks in the door. Yes…it was in the oven!!!

I know it was my three year old boy who just walked by with the toilet bowl cleaner and is now cleaning the back patio sliding glass door with it (someone has to do it)…so I’m off to invest in oven locks.

Check out their blog- they attended the MTV Awards and have some giveaways in the works!

What's Your Vampire Name???

Found this over at Twitarded- it's the Vampire Name Generator:

Turns out that my hunch was confirmed. I'm absolutely perfect for Edward Cullen, because......

My Twilight name is Isabella Swan.
Take Twilight Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Me 'n Edward Cullen sittin' in a tree... f (ooh, my mind just went in a naughty place. Sorry.)

You know you're a Twilight Obessed Mom when....

The Robsten girls count down their list of TOM moments- what are yours?

4. You only have playdates with other TOMs so you can talk Twilight since things you talked about before Twilight are mundane and boring (things like who drank too many cocktails at your child’s school fundraiser and flirted with the VP).

5. You have considered flushing your child’s goldfish so that you can bring a new pet into the family and name him Edward simply so you can say, “Has Edward eaten yet today?”

Bye, bye, Goldie- gotta make room for Edward!

More polls to finish wasting away your Friday afternoon

A couple more polls and no-news this Friday:

Kristen Stewart is in the top 3 of the top 25 Celebrity Hot List at People.com. You can also answer a poll that you can access HERE- What do you think of the New Moon trailer?



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Also, CorinnaT actually scrolled to the bottom of the PopEater page hosting Taylor's poll and found this poll, which Rob is losing sorely, by the way:
Go HERE, scroll to the bottom, and vote for your fav! As a side note, I don't care to see Rob in a swimsuit. But give me a commando poll, and I'd be ALL over that! ;)

:30 Twilight Bunnies at last!

Twilight en 30 secondes [by Bunnies]
by muxa

FINALLY!!! I have been looking for an embeddable :30second Twilight Bunnies video for the longest time- finally found it over at Inappropriate Twilight Obsession- along with one of my all-time favorite posts....
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Would You DIE?

...if you were chilling at a club, sipping a cosmo, scanning the crowd for cute guys and:

(Hey! Stupid girl in the blue shirt checking out dog-tag dude! Look BEHIND you! Ugh.)

Customized Edward Cullen guitar

Robert Pattinson plays guitar, and Edward Cullen is a hero — now you can put it all together with this customized Edward Cullen Guitar Hero guitar!

Is your significant other planning a Pattinson Intervention? Here's how to deal:

With all of this Robert Pattinson eye candy exploding around the net, millions of women are:
A) Neglecting all household/work duties
B) Making millions of spouses/boyfriends extremely happy with special *favors*
C) Both

But beware. As you sit, eyes glazed over the computer looking at Rob's jaw porn, your man may be planning an intervention. Twilight Widowers Anonymous is giving tips to significant others as to how to tactfully employ this procedure, and you need to be warned:

Here are some signs that your lady's "passing interest" in the blood-sucking glitter-boy may have passed into the realm of addiction:

• Extreme hyperactivity; excessive talkativeness, particularly involving 23-year old English actors.
• Change in overall attitude / personality. ("Did she just squeal like a 13-year-old girl?")
• Changes in friends: new hang-outs (Twilight Blogs), avoidance of old crowd (non-Twilight fans), new friends (Twilight bloggers).
• Change in activities; loss of interest in things that were important before (i.e., You).
• Difficulty in paying attention; forgetfulness (Remember: Adding the words "Robert Pattinson" into your conversation randomly will help keep her focused).
• Defensiveness, temper tantrums, resentful behavior ("I cooked for the first 14 years of this marriage! It's your turn!").
• Unexplained silliness or giddiness.
• Excessive need for privacy; keeps door locked or closed, won't let people in.
• Possession of Twilight paraphernalia.

Is it time for an intervention?
If you have come to the realization that your SO is exhibiting some or all of these signs, it is important to know the steps toward staging a successful intervention.

Ladies. Counteract your behavior:
* Throw a packaged lasagna in the oven and slap together a salad with a glass of wine for a romantic dinner.
* Pay *special* attention to your man tonight.
* Resist the urge to call out "Robert" in the throes of passion. Unless S.O.'s name is Robert. Then do it with zeal.
* Call your non-Twilight friend and pretend to act interested.


Erase the images of sex hair, bedroom eyes and jaw porn.
Just for tonight.
Then sneak back here tomorrow for another fix.