Sunday, March 29, 2009

Cullenist Religion: Taking Twilight to the Dark Side... literally.

NOTE: With all the hype on the net about this topic today, I've updated this post- see Cullenism: Update.

I'm as big a Cullen Lover/Twilighter as the next guy, but this goes overboard into a realm that would make Mormon mom Stephenie Meyer cringe:


From the Twilight Academy:

Just like any other religion, we have beliefs and values. Each belief may take on more importance for one person than it may for another, there is no wrong way to decide which beliefs are more important than others. So here are the main Cullenism beliefs, however, this list is not a limit to what you can believe in when it comes to the Cullenism religion, Cullenists are a welcoming and caring group of people, and we will accept any other Cullenism beliefs you may have!

These are our beliefs (in no certain order).

As a Cullenist we believe:
* Edward and the rest of the Twilight characters are real
* Stephenie Meyer is the (or one of the) best author(s)
* The twilight series should be worshiped
* If you are good in life, you will be bless with eternity with the Cullens, if you are bad in life, you will be sent to James' cave

Keep scrolling down the thread to find other rules:
*Cullenists must visit Forks, Washington (where the series takes place) once in your lifetime; the new Cullenists all rabidly support that proposal.
*Twilight should be treated like the Bible, reading a little each night.

When believers are criticized by a poster for creating a fiction-based religion, the critic is threated to be banned by the moderator.


Note: Please, please tell me this is all a bad joke.
The Cullen Family! by Nebuulosa ♥.

35 comments:

  1. that is scary, pillow biters! hhehe.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That HAS to be a joke. If not, that's really, um, well, stupid. And more than a little scary.

    I'm sooooo tempted to hop on that forum and criticize their new fangled religion. I haven't been banned from something in a while...

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  3. Do it, Jenny! Then let us know what happens!

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  4. I went over to the forum and read all the inane posts but couldn't bring myself to be an asshole to a bunch of fifteen year olds. I can't decide if I've finally matured or I'm lost my edge. ;)

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  5. one word.... FREAKY!!

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  6. I'm a fan, but this just truly sickens me.
    It's a friggen book, these people need to go out, get a boyfriend or a dog or something, go make friends and do something other then fantasizing over some fictional sparkly vampire.
    When I see people who actually are this crazy over something not real, I really pity.
    Yeah I believe in the supernatural and that there could really be vampires, werewolves and all the rest out there, but seriously, these people truly do need to get a life =_=

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  7. Twilight sucks, go read a GOOD book idiots.

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  8. All you people who dont like twilight suck.Because the people who read the series do have lives, they just want some part of their lives that they have to revolve around twilight.If you dont like it thats your freakin problem.And oh yeah,hey Anonymous I really pity you ok.How about you stop criticizing people and you go and get a life ok.And if there are werewolves and vampires out there I wanna see them come and kick your ASS!!!!

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  9. I really like this idea and I would seriously join,where do I sign up?

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  10. And just when I think people could not get any stupider, I find this. It's just... hell. There are no words. Not only is it utterly retarded to worship a books series, but of all things- TWILIGHT...? The thought of this is starting to cause my physical pain.

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  11. OH FUCK NO!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU FUCKING RETARDS?!?!?! YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT THE CULLENS EXIST?!!? THE SAME SPARKLY IDIOTS FEATURED IN THAT CRAPPY, HORRIFIC EXCUSE FOR A BOOK?!??! Oh, my God. Just shoot me. 20 years form now every idiot in the world is gonna worship "vampires" and believe they fucking SPARKLE! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?
    I'm going to stop before I kill someone. If I knew whoever who wrote this stupid piece of shit "religion" I'd fucking annihilate them.
    ALL HAIL EDWARD, OH SPARKLY ONE!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i dont believe i the cullensi JUST FUCKING VAMPIRES

      Delete
  12. DAMN YOU ALLL!!!
    THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR!!!!!
    I WILL CRITCIZE!!!
    first im a bookworm i read books, i read all sorts of books, ive read lotr, harry potter, the classics, the hardbound, lolita, and all those jewels and trash

    and twilight is one of the jewels

    yet
    sometimes, characters are best left in books where they really belong, THey went as far as KILLING THE CHARACTERS
    YES KILLING, CHARACTERS ARE LIKE DREAMS!!! THEY SHOULD BE HANDLED WITH RESPECT AND DIGNITY
    YET THESE PEOPLE ARE SICKOS!!!!!!

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  13. there are better books and films to be worshipped,
    everyone will forget about twilight in a couple of years so no big deal, just hope they find something better to do with their lives

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  14. Amen to that, Anonymous.

    I look forward to the day when Twilight will only be a few dark stains on the carpet of memory -hopefully the corpses will be gone by then.

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  15. I read the first Twilight book. It was okay. The writing style was good at least. It wasn't the best book in the world but it wasn't the worst either I guess.
    But this is just sad. How the heck can you worship a book?! VAMPIRES DO NOT EXIST (other than vampire bats, fleas, ticks, and leeches of course ^^). I wonder how the author feels about this. :(
    It seems everyone is either an extreme Twilight fan or an extreme Twilight hater. Making a religion out of a vampire romance has gone too far.

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  16. HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!! anybody who worships twilight is going to HELL and they're so STUPID they probably deserve it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. how can you know they're ALL stupid? i'm not, if someone judged you on your fandom would you like it?

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  17. The first book, let me summarize it for you;

    Oh, Edward! He's sooooo godly! Why would he like me? I'm a clutts! -After 150 pages of this, they finally get a kiss- "His lips were as cold as 1k icicles! His family is so kewl!" -nuther 50 pages of this- "Omg, an evil vampire threatens me, what ever shall I do, it's a good thing that we out-number them, huh?"

    That pretty much sums it up.

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  18. new moon movie of twilight saga is outstanding ! enjoyed a lot watching twilight new moon !!

    http://www.twilightnewmoon.info

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  19. So, all in all. Twilight is not the greatest of book series. I would rate it on the bottom 3 of my own personal reading material. I find the writing style to be atrocious as well as the character development. Everyone is allowed guilty pleasures so let people enjoy twilight just not go to the extreme as it has been so far. I've heard of physical attacks on people because of this and have nearly been beaten for it personally. If you enjoy the book good for you, if you hate it like i do good for you! However when you make a religion out of it then please remove yourself from the gene pool or grow up, we need mature adults here, not a pack of rabid little girls who have yet to comprehend the severity of their actions. thank you.

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  20. come on people you have to realize that twilight is something people really like and you shouldn't make fun of it I think it is great that this was created and people who are die hard fans should follow this religion DO CULLENISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE TWILIGHT SAGA RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  21. Omg...... this scares me greatly. I want to hide my son now. I'm never going out in an anti shirt again.
    And, she wrote a book about aliens...... and they sparkle. She kills everything I love.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Im a cullenist.....I have my days where i dont read a page. But honestly, where not just screaming girls without a life, I mean i can see from some pepoels point of view, where it sounds stupid. BUT I have a life, I go to dance, skip school, chill with my friends, go to the beach, go shopping, fall in lakes, ect. So of course there are exeptions, but most of us, are infact ''normal''. Also, Its for fun, Please let ppl. have fun, not all of us are ppl. without lives who sit on the internet for hours looking to break someones fun.

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  23. Ok, now I could understand being a fan of the book...

    But this is just messed up. I know insane people who are more sane then this. It's ok to be a fan - but seriously, making a cult about it is just plain scary.

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    ReplyDelete
  25. I think this is taking it a bit too far. There's being a fan and there's being obsessed. It's just a book. Not even a very good one

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. its a movie as well, and its your opinion that its not good. Twilight fans would disagree

      Delete
  26. Why can't people believe what they want too?! i am a Cullenist and am very new too the religion. I believe vampires exist, maybe not the Cullens. and yes i do pray to The Cullens for good luck. Why cant you just leave us alone. we're not hurting anyone with our believes and not forcing you to join!

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