Rumor Control: Rob and Kristen will NOT be making Vampy Babies!!!

Just at the grocery store today, racks of mags headlined the love tryst between Rob, Kristen and Nikki. SMUT, I say!

Rob will clear the air once and for all tonight in his interview for ET:

"It becomes a joke," the dreamy-eyed Brit tells Entertainment Tonight in an interview slated to air on Friday. "There was some magazine the other day about me and Kristen and when you look at it and realize it's on the front of a magazine… You realize that people are actually reading that even though how ridiculous it is. It's really bizarre."

In fact, all the sudden attention about Rob's love life has turned him into a "paranoid wreck" about how to handle a new relationship. "I'm always really worried about ruining their lives," he explains. "Especially with people that aren't famous. It's such a massive change."

Take that, Ted Casablanca!!!

Note to Rob: I'm fully prepared to take on the media frenzy. Call me.