Thursday, April 2, 2009

Breaking Dawn Recounted by Edward "Frickin" Cullen... priceless

What's up with my rated R posts these past couple of days? Seems the older Twi-crowd is feeling a bit feisty and frisky with the lack of love life expressed in the teen novel...

Anyhoo.... this is the funniest recount of Breaking Dawn- not for the faint of heart, easily offended, or those who have not read the book.

Edward Cullen Helps Me Review Breaking Dawn



**This is all in good fun and for the lolz**




"So it doesn't start so bad. Bella is whiny like usual but I basically just drown that out now. Plus I got her a missile proof car. She thinks its to keep her safe..."


"...but it was really just a way to bring the lolz for Jasper, Emmett and I."


"The wedding goes well...even a bit boring...but it was nice not to have to fight some evil vampire for a few hours...so I try to be a good husband and invite Bella's smelly dog best friend to cheer her up..."

That's the beginning... it only gets better... Thanks to Tina for the tip!

5 comments:

  1. I have to say, although this isn't language that I'd prefer, this is hilarious. My sister sent it to me months ago and I read it every so often and still laugh hysterically...especially at "I'm Edward Fricken Cullen, doesn't anybody care what I think?"
    LOL

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  2. Agreed- I'm not always a fan of raunchy language, but the combination of the dialogue (which really brings up everything we think about the book) and Rob's facial expressions makes it so funny!

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  3. Hooray for older Twi-fans! Please keep the "R for Rawr!" posts coming!! That had me in stitches... (and just when I thought I was done being mystified by his hair, here I am again all perplexed and everything... How DOES it do all that?! It must be alive or something... We should name it.)

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  4. Oh, girl- we have named it- "Squirrels and Mousse." I've tagged a couple of the posts with that name(when I remember).

    You should check out our Facebook group; you'd get along just fine. We're Twilight Moms, but it should be called Twilight "hot and bothered pull no punches" Moms.

    http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=42010307588&ref=mf

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  5. My favorite line:

    "So I thank Jacob and call him "Son" just to see the fucking look on his face which was priceless..."

    Love it!
    TwiFan21

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