Thursday, April 2, 2009

Breaking Dawn Recounted by Edward "Frickin" Cullen... priceless

What's up with my rated R posts these past couple of days? Seems the older Twi-crowd is feeling a bit feisty and frisky with the lack of love life expressed in the teen novel...

Anyhoo.... this is the funniest recount of Breaking Dawn- not for the faint of heart, easily offended, or those who have not read the book.

Edward Cullen Helps Me Review Breaking Dawn

**This is all in good fun and for the lolz**

"So it doesn't start so bad. Bella is whiny like usual but I basically just drown that out now. Plus I got her a missile proof car. She thinks its to keep her safe..."

"...but it was really just a way to bring the lolz for Jasper, Emmett and I."

"The wedding goes well...even a bit boring...but it was nice not to have to fight some evil vampire for a few I try to be a good husband and invite Bella's smelly dog best friend to cheer her up..."

That's the beginning... it only gets better... Thanks to Tina for the tip!


  1. I have to say, although this isn't language that I'd prefer, this is hilarious. My sister sent it to me months ago and I read it every so often and still laugh hysterically...especially at "I'm Edward Fricken Cullen, doesn't anybody care what I think?"

  2. Agreed- I'm not always a fan of raunchy language, but the combination of the dialogue (which really brings up everything we think about the book) and Rob's facial expressions makes it so funny!

  3. Hooray for older Twi-fans! Please keep the "R for Rawr!" posts coming!! That had me in stitches... (and just when I thought I was done being mystified by his hair, here I am again all perplexed and everything... How DOES it do all that?! It must be alive or something... We should name it.)

  4. Oh, girl- we have named it- "Squirrels and Mousse." I've tagged a couple of the posts with that name(when I remember).

    You should check out our Facebook group; you'd get along just fine. We're Twilight Moms, but it should be called Twilight "hot and bothered pull no punches" Moms.

  5. My favorite line:

    "So I thank Jacob and call him "Son" just to see the fucking look on his face which was priceless..."

    Love it!