Shocker! RPattz will not be on SNL! Call the papers!

I'm confused. Since when did no news become news? Apparently when it's Twilight related...

Alert, people! Robert Pattinson will NOT be hosting SNL. I repeat; Robert Pattinson is NOT scheduled to host the show.

“We’re all locked in with hosts for this year,” Lorne Michaels said. “Not this season.”

5,000 fans had signed petitions requesting Pattinson to host the show.

Aww... shucks. Bet he's broken up...

In other no-news, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart will NOT be contestants on Dancing with the Stars...